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“I know I’m allowing this to get too personal, but I really don’t think I’d ever be able to live down getting rejected in my affluent circles,” offered Robert in a hushed tone that signaled for my ears only. He then shared his predicament, “I keep kicking myself because I know I’m leaving a lot of money on the table.”
Robert is taking this rejection thing a bit too far, but nobody likes to be rejected. Period. I can still recall getting rejected during my freshman year in high school. It was my first official crush — and I was flat out rejected and scarred. Ouch! It still hurts just thinking about it. But that was then…
It wasn’t until I became a student of winning the inner game of selling when I learned that rejection is only a state of mind. If you take it personally, like me in my early teens and Robert today, it will prevent you from engaging in any activity that presents any possibility of being rejected. For relationship marketing, this is the kiss of death.
Rather than bore you with a bunch of pop-psychology babble, I’m going to provide you with a strategy that will protect you from ever being rejected again. Ready?
Create the Mindset
This is where you need to sell yourself on the value you deliver, the help you provide, the difference you make in your client’s lives. I’m not referring to the proverbial “value proposition” you communicate to prospects, but rather that internal conversation with yourself regarding your true value.
So back to Robert. I asked him about the times he reviewed statements of wealthy people, clients of “high-brow” firms. I asked if he ever uncovered fees that the clients were not aware of – hidden fees. He said that this was a common occurrence. I then asked how people felt when he brought it to their attention, and I got a one-word answer, “Pissed!”
Without realizing it, Robert was on the path to developing the mindset that would protect him from ever getting rejected again. When I asked about “all the money he was leaving on the table” – the likelihood of uncovering hidden fees, he just smiled. He knew where I was going.
“So, I’m really doing them a favor by simply identifying hidden fees. I don’t necessarily have to ask for their business, but rather outline how I approach the fee issue with clients.”
Bingo! Robert was beginning to develop the mindset.
Develop a “Good Doctor” No Rejection Script
Here is where the rubber meets the road. You’ve developed the mindset, you’ve had a business conversation, whether you used the “3rd party hidden fee review” tactic, or you simply took a deep breath and had a business conversation. When someone tells you that they’re not going to work with you for whatever reason, and there’s a wide variety, rather than push-push (this isn’t about overcoming an objection, rather someone saying they’re not going to use your services at this time), you’re maintaining your posture.
By this I mean, you’re explaining the negative repercussions of not addressing the issue you identified (hidden fees, no financial plan, inappropriate risk tolerance, etc.). This is just like the “good doctor” suggesting to someone that they “really should get updated on all their shots; particularly flu and pneumonia shots.”
What this does to your personal presence is profound; instead of that defeated body language of rejection, your posture is one of control, confidence and empathy that’s coupled with authority. You care about their financial well-being, and it’s important that they attend to the issue you’ve identified.
With a little practice, this “good doctor” script will be part of your DNA — it will become natural.
Keep the Door Wide Open
Too often when an advisor is turned down by a prospect, they remove this person from their world-of-the-possible, often never interacting with them again. Whether it’s because the rejection was too painful, taken too personally, or simply they prioritize their focus on other prospects – this is a BIG mistake. Remember that word-of-mouth-influence in affluent circles is the most powerful force impacting behavior. You don’t want the word to get around that you’re “that guy” – only interested when he thinks he can sell you something. That’s the type of message that travels fast. Ugh!
However, this goes far beyond preventing negative word-of-mouth, your business conversation allows for future opportunity. Now this person knows exactly what you do – you’re no longer pigeon-holed as just another broker. We’ve seen affluent prospects who declined the offer to become a client, later refer their colleagues and friends to the advisor. We’ve also seen prospects who initially declined the advisor, later change their mind… things change.
Now this doesn’t mean that you must continue to pursue this prospect in the same manner as before. But you can keep the door wide open by continuing natural social interaction which will enable you to maintain the emotional connection you’ve established. From there, you can occasionally email an interesting article or something personal. Then every six months or so, ask (email, text or in person), like the “good doctor” if they attended to the financial issue you identified.
What a powerful feeling to know that you’ll never get rejected again! It’s a winner’s mindset.
If you’re serious about developing a winner’s mindset, consider subscribing to our Marketing Course Library. It includes a course called, Winning the Inner Game of Selling, that will teach you how to develop the mental habits of high achievers, how to think BIG, establish BIG goals, and much more!
